I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
