Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
