i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
