Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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