he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
