why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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