Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
