sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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