This dress was meant to end up on your floor
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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