There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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