It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
