Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
