No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you inspire me to be a worse person
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
