Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
