why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
