Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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