I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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