just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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