do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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