why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
