literally had 100 drinks last night.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
