i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
