you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
