I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
