If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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