if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
