Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
