I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
