this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
