Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
