Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
