Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
