In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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