Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
