that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
