I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
