Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
