I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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