honey bunches of taint.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize