I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
