dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
