i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
