Only a mothe r could love this liver
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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