you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize