You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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