I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
