hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
