It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize