ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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