if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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