How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
