Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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