Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
