No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He shit in the fireplace
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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