that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
