i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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