Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
