My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
