dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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