Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
