singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
