i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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