So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
