yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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