no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
