It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
