So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
