new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
