i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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