I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Please, let me fuck your mom
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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