I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
