We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
